Moving to France

Episode 4: On getting a birth certificate

Let’s not beat around the bush too much. I’m frustrated … already. No, nothing to do with the French bureaucracy (yet?). I’ve had to move heaven and earth to (hopefully) get a ‘long’ copy of my birth certificate. I may be fully gray by the time I move to France …

---

The morning started off quite well. Another realtor came to check out our house and after a very nice chat, we might enlist this agency’s help, depending on how it goes with the realtor who’s coming tomorrow (the last one we’ve scheduled an appointment with). I’m finding these visits exhausting, but selling the house well (and hopefully quickly) is imperative. 

After a quick coffee when he left (who has time for breakfast?), we had a Zoom meeting with a financial advisor in France who was recommended to us. Lots of great information and wonderful to have someone who speaks English and can help us with everything from setting up our businesses to guiding us through the financial maze that comes with moving to a new country.

We discussed our plans, including my desire to expand the business with cooking lessons and culinary tours. Well, unfortunately, the cooking lessons are ‘pas possible’ as I need to have an official qualification (and a professional kitchen) to teach cooking, which is a regulated profession in France. I could train as a ‘traiteur,’ but that doesn’t really seem like an option for now. So, no cooking lessons. Culinary tours, however, are no problem. Once we’re in France, I’ll get in touch with them again so they can help me set up my microenterprise, which should be fairly easy. Except for the fact that I need a birth certificate. And more than likely, it needs to be less than three months old. WTF.

The thing is, I was born in Colombia … 

Sure, I don’t know the country at all, since I was merely born there and grew up in the US, but yeah. Rummaging through some paperwork, I found a copy dated 1997, valid indefinitely and stamped by the notary where I was registered, but it turns out this is a ‘short’ version and I need the ‘long’ one. I guess the ‘short’ one was good enough to start a new life in the Netherlands nearly 26 years ago.

Anyhow, after THREE hours and calls to the embassy and consulate here (tip: if you press “3 for English,” they’ll hang up after making you wait), I finally managed to find the number of the notary of the city where I was born and called them to explain the situation. I can speak reasonable Spanish with my parents, but proper Spanish is a whole other ballgame. I hate to admit it, but in fact, my Spanish is getting progressively worse. After explaining the story in my shitty Spanish to three officials (one in The Hague, two in Colombia), they finally understood what I needed and said they would send me an email explaining how to proceed. (I have been refreshing my email every five minutes.) I may just be getting worked up over nothing, but I need that damn certificate. Otherwise no microenterprise. Send me those good vibes, fairy dust, prayers, good thoughts and whatever else you can spare. 

I am now keeping a file with all kinds of information (everything from agents in France who have interesting property to information about tax, pensions, microenterprises and the whole shebang). It feels like we’ve just started climbing Mount Everest, and sometimes, I get slightly overwhelmed. I’m impatient. I like things done quickly and efficiently. It’s the whole unknown, the fact that at this point we have to depend so much on others, that gives me night sweats. But all things must pass, said George Harrison. In the meantime, I try to lighten the load by envisioning how I will feel when I open the window in the morning and can breathe in France!

Little things (like my husband surprising me with a beautiful French Louis chair – not sure if it’s an XV or an XVI, anyone?) are keeping me going. I have one in pink velvet and am envisioning both of them in my little French house.

Let’s see what the rest of the week brings.

IMPORTANT NOTICE: This will be the last free post documenting my move to France. I have decided that subsequent posts will only be available to paid subscribers. You’ll read the good, the bad and the ugly — from the selling of our house in the Netherlands to whatever else may come when we’re there. I’m hoping that my experience will be of help (or perhaps motivation) to anyone who is planning to do the same.