For some reason, it seems as though the week has been dragging on, and I can’t believe it’s only Wednesday. In a way, I am still recovering from a rather traumatic experience on Monday. Good thing I baked a cake yesterday to soothe away some of those sorrows.
In a previous post, I wrote about the reason we’ve had to put our France plans on hold yet again. I don’t think I’ve cried more than I did at the end of August when it suddenly felt like my world was crumbling down before me, but in my heart I know this is just a temporary setback. Perhaps a hearty, much-needed kick in the ass or a wake-up call confronting me with the reality that I wasn’t happy with a big job I took on back in February. I put in so, so much effort into relaunching a product, and not only did it turn out to be a failure (not my doing), but I never really felt like all my work was appreciated. It was one of the least gratifying jobs I’ve ever taken on, but it helped pay the bills (to some extent, because in truth, not only was I sorely underpaid, but those I had to hire were as well). I’m taking it in stride and realizing once again that sometimes, plans don’t work out. No matter how much you’ve prepared and how certain you are that this time things will really happen. That’s simply called life. Man, Frank Sinatra’s song resonates with me more than ever. 🙂
I am very lucky to still have some great clients, but I’ve also been looking for ways to fill the gap and get things back on track again. Having more time on my hands means I’ve been able to work on recipes for my mini-cookbooks, pitch a book idea to a publisher and shoot some interesting stories to publications that actually pay what I believe I am worth. As an entrepreneur, these setbacks have always proven to be blessings in disguise, providing an opportunity to grow and leading me down better and more fulfilling paths in life.
Which brings me to this past Monday, when I thought I would be enriching my life by taking on a job as a high school English teacher for one day a week – a perfect opportunity to do my share to make a difference in the lives of children again. I worked at a Dutch high school years ago and went on to teach at a grammar school shortly after that job had ended. Though it was sometimes a challenge to combine teaching with my work as a journalist, I did it with all the love in the world, because I saw it as so much more than just “a job.” Teachers shape the future, and to this day, it fills me with joy to know how much I meant to some of those kiddos.
So when I was approached by a school and asked if I was interested in coming in for a chat, I quickly agreed. I was offered the job on the spot, two days later I was filling out my paperwork with the school’s HR, and last Sunday was spent preparing my very first lesson for the following day. Off I went at 8 AM on Monday morning, ready to return to the world of teaching, inspiring and motivating. But things quickly turned very sour.
To cut the long story short, I taught one class, called HR and resolutely told them I quit. I don’t know if it was this particular school system (which is based on “autonomy,” “self-regulated activity” and “free choice”) or just a sign of the times, but what I encountered was not a classroom. It was a nuthouse.
After the initial interest in having a new teacher (a real American!) wore off, I couldn’t finish a sentence without having to raise my voice. I quickly discovered “gentle guidance” wasn’t going to cut it with this group. The fact that I also had to tolerate children hiding behind laptops and wearing headphones didn’t sit too well with me either. And because they are allowed to call the shots, some also refused to do the assignments I had planned. “Write five sentences about what you did yesterday,” I asked. To which some looked me straight in the eye and replied: “I’m not going to do that.” You would think that a school that works with this system would have students who can actually handle it. Not the case. With the exception of a few (it broke my heart to leave them because I could feel how much they needed a good teacher!), these children were headed toward a very bleak future. You can’t always call the shots and have things go your way. The level of disrespect and lack of interest resulting from this ludicrous system was astounding.
Adding insult to injury, it felt as though I was hired without really being informed of what to expect. Perhaps that was the reason why I was not guided in any way. There wasn’t even a colleague there to show me the ropes and welcome me on Monday morning.
The whole experience greatly affected me. In a way, I felt like I “cheated” those kids by deciding I wasn’t going to be their teacher. But God knows I wasn’t about to let another job rob me of my integrity.
No better therapy than baking therapy, so when I suddenly remembered that iconic NYT plum torte yesterday, I was inspired to make it again. (See video here.) This time without the required eggs, butter and white sugar. I am happy to report it came out delicious. Perhaps a slice for breakfast is in order. And a long walk in nature after that.
Hope you like the recipe.
Plum Torte My Way
Serves 8
Ingredients:
150ml soy milk
2 tsps apple cider vinegar
2 tsps vanilla extract
125g plant-based butter (for baking)
100g coconut sugar, plus 1 tbps for sprinkling
300g all-purpose flour
2 tsps baking powder
Pinch of fleur de sel
200g plums, quartered
1 tsp cinnamon
Instructions:
Line the bottom of a round 18cm springform cake tin with parchment paper and grease the sides with plant-based butter. Preheat the oven to 170°C. Mix soy milk and apple cider vinegar. Stir in the vanilla extract. Cream the butter and sugar with a standing or hand-held mixer until. Whisk in the soy milk and apple cider mixture. You will notice that the mixture looks curdled and not very appetizing. Trust me, that’s okay. Add the flour, baking powder and salt and mix with a spatula until well incorporated. The mixture will be thick and heavy. Spread the mixture evenly over the prepared cake tin. Press the quartered plums into the dough, evenly spaced. Sprinkle the 1 tbsp sugar and the cinnamon over the cake. Bake for 50 minutes and allow to cool on a rack before serving.
Oh my goodness, I can completely sympathise. Working as a solo-preneur too, trying to find methods to bring home the bacon, keep my integrity, and weigh up my needs alongside others' is possibly the most difficult work I've ever encountered! And I used to be a chef! I think you showed guts and self-respect by quitting - only people who know themselves and their worth can demonstrate that. Unfortunately society has told us we need to 'stick things out' but that has proven to keep workers miserable and penniless! Well done for sticking up for yourself - and my mantra is the old one of when one door closes a window opens as now you have time to pursue what you love, so who knows what will happen :)